Almost all affairs are short-term and you may be looking to get out of your current entanglement. You may be bored, tired of juggling two lives, or ready to work things out with your significant other. Regardless, you are now trying to figure out how to back out of your arrangement.
The good news is that there are a few steps you can follow to ensure that you end the affair nicely, but firmly. In doing so, you will be able to leave this indiscretion in the past. Here is what you need to do to manage this:
Consider the Arrangement
Before you plan your breakup, it is important to think of the kind of affair that you had. Was it strictly physical? Or, did you make promises for the future regarding the two of you? Now, if your relationship falls into the first category, you can break things off swiftly.
However, if you promised your paramour an extended relationship, then you need to be careful with your approach. This involves apologizing for your part in the affair and for leading them on. It is a good idea to explain your actions, especially if it involves trying to make your other relationship work.
You may not want to express regret – after all, it does take two to tango. Still, you need to appreciate that the other person was invested in your relationship. As such, they may have jeopardized a previous relationship or passed up other opportunities. Thus, you owe it to them to say you’re sorry.
Do It Face to Face
If the affair was very casual, then you may be able to get away with a breakup text. Otherwise, there is a good chance that you need to sit down and talk things through with them. Yes, it will be awkward but it will also signify a clean break. This will make it easier for you to go back to your own lives.
Create Strict Boundaries
During the breakup, it is important to outline to the other person how your relationship will be changing. Tell them that you won’t be meeting them anymore. At the same time, you will not be replying to their phone calls, text messages, etc. Of course, it is up to you to decide how much communication you are comfortable with. If you want to put a complete stop to the affair, you should let them know.
Stick to Your Guns
Once you have walked away, it is important to keep your word. Don’t call them and ignore any form of communication. You can avoid giving into temptation by blocking their number or email address. This can seem extreme, but it will ensure that you don’t make the same mistake over and over again.
Conduct a Spring Cleaning
Last, but not least, it is time to delete this person from your life. If you have any gifts or keepsakes, you can try to return them. If this doesn’t work, throw them away – there is no sense in holding onto these reminders.
You should also go through your phone and purge it of their presence. This includes text messages, pictures, instant messages, videos, etc. As mentioned, you may want to take the additional step to block them off all your devices as well.
These are your guidelines to ending an affair with anyone. So, stick to them and you should be fine.